FREE TO A GOOD HOME

We’re trying to get rid of Melissa but no-one wants her. She’s been living here for years. I’m sorry I haven’t mentioned her before.

We even included two aeroplane neck braces in case someone wanted to sleep with her on a trip overseas. (Tickets not included.)

No luck so far.

Early on it looked promising. After two days of her sitting on our front wall, being available, scaring the bejeesus out of me when I went out to check the letterbox, she was gone. We were relieved and delighted. We hoped she’d gone to a good home.

Then when we went to the gym the next morning we found her lying on the footpath. The Sydney wind had literally blown her head off.

Melissa is a hairdresser’s mannequin. We picked her up off someone else’s front wall years ago, attracted by her brown eyes and full lips and – oddly – her dishevelled hair.

In the end her quiet personality saw her shunted out of the limelight and she spent COVID in the attic. Shunned and stunned. And scaring the bejeesus out of me every time I went into the attic.

Just today I’ve moved her off the front wall and back in onto the bench seat on our front verandah. I’m working on the principle that sometimes the only way to give something away is to let someone steal it. FREE doesn’t cut it any more. We’ve all got too much Melissa.

We’re on several Street Bounty and Recycle sites and they work a treat but I haven’t posted Melissa up there yet. It’s hard to give away something that has/is a face staring back at you. I feel like a monster.

Maybe I should comb her hair. Maybe I should throw in those airline tickets.

Maybe I should bring her back inside where it’s warm.

It’s not your fault Melissa. It’s mine.

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